Andrea Seydel
Live Life Happy Book Club Highlight --How Children Thrive: The Practical Science of Raising Independent, Resilient, and Happy Kids
Introduction:
Tired of parenting books that make you feel like you are doing everything wrong? How Children thrive is the antidote to this problem with smart, reliable and valuable resources.
Doctor Mark Bertin, is a best selling author who specializes in integrating mindfulness with other evidence-based neurodevelopment care.
As a parent, you probably often think about how your children can thrive. We want our children to have happy , healthy and meaningful lives, but what is the best way to support them?
1. Brain Management as a Developmental Path
Parenting is a lot less stressful if you don't worry about every choice you make. Understanding the basics of how children develop and what builds independence and let go of the rest.
Basic cognitive skills of putting off short term reward (one marshmallow) for long term gain (two marshmallows) correlates to success across a lifetime. early Self management skills significantly help you child to thrive.
Start parenting through the Executive function or developmental lens, you'll discover you'll separate the pressures created by the world. Focus on teaching Executive Function and aiming for our children to be capable of managing life themselves.
Executive function resides primary in the front part of brain. It drives learning, monitors our thinking and behaviour, identifies mistakes and defines self regulatory tasks. Children develop all on their own at their own pace and kids just need to be kids. Teach executive function everyday: a variety of skills needed to overcome obstacles and make good choices.
TIPS: Focus on building executive function daily, allow discussion and options but monitor big picture, be selective in scheduling, seek support when children fall behind, trust your own judgement, build independence through routine, complete and teach the routine, homework time and place, support strong habits, teach organizational skills, set limits, collaborate in decision making, keep on top of self managing skills, notice what's right. PROMOTE EXECUTIVE FUNCTION
2. The A-E-I-O-U and Y of Childhood Well-Being
Come back to the basic when raising resilient happy kids by focusing on Activities, Environment, Instruction, Old fashion education, Understanding when to intervene, and Y we work hard.
Activities Tips: Lay out family's schedule as it is now, create a new calendar fill in what you value most, consider what to do with unscheduled time, make time for play, use PRIDE- praise, reflect, imitate, describe, enjoy, media diet for kids, be a role model,
Environment Tips: Positive parenting pitfalls , affectionate, consistent adult , guide children to towards their strengths, teach skills, provide consistent emotional base, clear limits, save rewards and feedback for valid effort and real steps, time together, notice small things that have gone well and target praise, reward desiree behaviour, redirect behaviour, offer choice, natural consequences, listen and understand, stress is inevitable,
Instruction Tips: Train your brain to live more intentionally, mindful and aware, role model mindfulness,
Old fashion education Tips: EXECUTIVE Function builds from consistent daily routines. assess motivation make goals and create structure, encourage reading, build a better learner, repetition and sills to learn.
Understand when to Intervene Tips: Step in and intervene when a child needs support,
Y Why work hard Tips: Teach Grit, mindset and executive function, teach how to approach adversity as a role model? Teach kids what success is to help motivate, teach persistence + skill= Resilience, focus on strengths, build skills, emphasize positive attitude towards adversity.
3. Practical, Positive Parenting Self Management Every Day
View everyday living, such as nutrition and sleep, viewed through the lens of executive function.
TIPS: Create opportunities for children to be in control, make choices, explore, and be creative. Steer behaviour through immediate feedback. limit number of rules,. Remain empathetic but firm. Model remaining calm. Timeouts, Use one warning only, resonspable time, be consistent. Focus on relationships, spend time together. Use targeted praise, value effort and incremental goals. Allow natural consequences. Set limits. Reinforce reward system. Feed healthy. Set bedtimes, hour before lights out warning, establish a calm environment at bet time, sleep associations. Model media use.
4. Mindfulness and Families
Mindfulness is not a specific thing to do, it is a way of life. Mindfulness is a long term opportunity to build waits that leads to greater happiness and the capacity to manage challenges.
Mindfulness and families Tips: You can't be mindful all the time. Notice where you attention is going. Pay attention, avoid auto pilot and multitasking, be aware of the negativity bias, attention and stress. Practice gratitude, journal gratitude pay attention to what you're grateful for, Eat mindfully, meditate, reset internal life with mindfulness, pay attention to emotions. Be aware of your thoughts, monitor mental traps, nurture positive view of yourself. Unhook from reactivity. Spot tendencies and habit. Exercise self compassion. See the world as it is.
Summary:
Dr. Bertin, provides a positive, simple and empowering approach for raising children.
He Brings together mindfulness, new science on brain development, and the messy reality of being a parent.
Bottom line is we can strive to raise Executive Function in our children to make them more resilient, happy and independent.
For the full book highlight, visit my Live Life Happy Podcast where ever you listen to podcasts or visit andreaseydel.com
Book Link: https://amzn.to/2RIPgK5