How to Win Friends & Influence People

Updated: Jan 23, 2019


Andrea Seydel Unconventional Book Club Highlight


How to Win Friends & Influence People

Dale Carnegie's time-tested advice can help carry you up the ladder of success in business and in your personal life. In his book he teaches us ways to make people like you, win people to your way of thinking, and ways to change people without resentment. First published in 1937, FULL OF TIMELESS WISDOM. Life is connections and positive relationships. He suggest a reading requirement for this book: A DEEP DESIRE TO LEARN AND A VIGOROUS DETERMINATION TO INCREASE YOUR ABILITY TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE


Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

If you want to gather honey, don't kick over the bee hive. PRINCIPLE 1: DON'T CRITICIZE, CONDEMN OR COMPLAIN. Remember it is human nature to blame others and not themselves. People NEVER like criticism OR blame. TIP Never criticize any one for anything and don't speak ill of any person. Speak all the good that you know of everybody.

Instead of condemning people try to understand them. Try to figure out why they do what they do. This breeds tolerance, empathy, compassion and kindness.

PRINCIPLE 2: GIVE HONEST & SINCERE APPRECIATION- Stop thinking about your own accomplishments and wants and start looking at others good points.

PRINCIPLE 3: AROUSE IN THE OTHER PERSON AN EAGER WANT- Look into others peoples point of view and get them exciting about an equal gain.


Six Ways to Make People Like you

Do this and you will be welcome anywhere: PRINCIPLE 1:BE GENUINELY INTERESTED IN OTHER PEOPLE- if you want others to like you, if you develop real friendships, if you wan tot help others at the same time help yourself, SHOW a genuine interest in other people.

Simplist way to make a good first impression PRINCIPLE 2: SMILE

PRINCIPLE 3: REMEMBER THAT A PERSONS NAME IS THE SWEETEST AND MOST IMPORTANT SOUND IN ANY LANGUAGE- there is magic contained in a name. It sets an individual apart. When you use a name you make people feel a special importance.

PRINCIPLE 4: BE A GOOD LISTENER. ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO TALK ABOUT THEMSELVES. The easy way to be a good conversationalist is to be a good listener and encourage others to talk. People are more interested in themselves then they are you.

PRINCIPLE 5: TALK IN TERMS OF THE OTHER PERSON'S INTEREST- Interest people by talking in terms that the other person is interested in. Chance to learn an grow and people connect right away.

PRINCIPLE 6: MAKE THE OTHER PERSON FEEL IMPORTANT- AND DO IT SINCERELY- Talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours.


How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

Your can't win an argument: PRINCIPLE 1: THE ONLY WAY TO GET THE BEST OF AN ARGUMENT IS TO AVOID IT- When one person yells the other one should listen, or else just noise and no communication. Make a pack.

How to avoid making enemies: PRINCIPLE 2: SHOW RESPECT FOR OTHER PERSON'S OPINIONS NEVER SAY, "YOU'RE WRONG."

If you are wrong, admit it. PRINCIPLE 3: IF YOU ARE WRONG, ADMIT IT QUICKLY AND EMPHATICALLY.

PRINCIPLE 4: BEGIN IN A FRIDLEY WAY- start with a drop of honey to start to win people to your way of thinking.

When taking to people don't begin on the things you differ. Begin by emphasizing and keep emphasizing on the things which you agree. PRINCIPLE 5: GET THE OTHER PERSON SAYING "YES, YES" IMMEDIATELY.

Open the safety valve for people who need to complain. PRINCIPLE 6: LE3T THE OTHER PERSON DO A GREAT DEAL OF THE TALKING. Talk about yourself less and listen more.

People have more faith in there own ideas then ideas handed to them. Instead of ramming ideas and opinions down someones throat, It is wiser to make suggestions and let the other person create the conclusion. GET COOPERATION BY PRINCIPLE 7: LET THE OTHER PERSON FEEL THAQT THEY IDEA IS HIS OR HERS.

Others may be totally wrong but they don't think so. PRINCIPLE 8: TRY HONESTLY TO SEE THINGS FROM THE OTHER PERSON'S POINT OF VIEW.

What everybody wants. "I don't blame you for feeling as you do. If I were you I would undoubtably feel just as you do." PRINCIPLE 9: BE SYMPATHETIC WITH THE OTHER PERSON'S IDEAS AND DESIRES.

Instead of flying off the handle PRINCIPLE 10: APPEAL TO THE NOBLE MOTIVES. Be honest, upright and fair.

PRINCIPLE 11: DRAMATIZE YOUR IDEAS- TV, movies and bulletin boards do it to win people to their ways of thinking.

PRINCIPLE 12: THROW DOWN A CHALLENGE- Every person likes a chance to prove his or her self worth, to excel and win. Give people a chance to excel with a challenge.


Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Offence or Resentment

If you must find fault, PRINCIPLE 1: BEGIN WITH PRAISE AND HONEST APPRECIATION.

Criticize but don't be hated for it, PRINCIPLE 2. CALL ATTENTION TO PEOPLE'S MISTAKES INDIRECTLY.

PRICIPLE 3. TALK ABOUT YOUR WON MISTAKES BEFORE CRITICIZING THE OTHER PERSON.

Remember no one likes to take orders. PRINCIPLE 4: ASK QUESTIONS INSTEAD OF GIVING DIRECT ORDERS.

PRINCIPLE 5: LET THE OTHER PERSON SAVE FACE.

PRINCIPLE 6: PRAISE THE SLIGHTEST IMPROVEMENT AND PRAISE EVERY IMPROVEMENT. BE HEARTY INYOUR APPROBATION AND LAVISH IN YOUR PRAISE.

PRIICPLE 7: GIVE THE OTHER PERSON A FINE REPUTATION TO LIVE UP TO.

PRINCIPLE 8: USE ENCOURAGEMENT. MAKE THE FAULT SEEM SASY TO CORRECT.

PRINCIPLE 9: MAKE THE OTHER PERSON HAPPY ABOUT DOING THE THINGS YOUR SUGGEST.


Summary:

We now know how to make people like us, ways to win people to our way of thinking and ways to change people without arousing resentment.

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie is a definite staple in everyone's book collection.


For a full highlight of this book visit my Live Life happy Podcast https://apple.co/2oJDiio or website at andreaseydel.com


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