The Science of Conquering Self-Doubt
Andrea Seydel Live life Happy Unconventional Bookclub
Wire your brain for confidence provides us with good news... Scientists have discovered the formula for how we can wire our brains for more action-oriented kind of confidence to boost our courage to act. Positive Psychology expert, Louisa Jewell shows that adopting a resilient mindset will allow us to change fear to courage and to give us ability to accomplish goals that seemed impossible. Wire your Brain for confidence is a Step by step guide to achieving goals for anyone that has struggled with self-doubt. Women seem to have a never ending struggle to be good enough. What I loved about this book is that it's not about building general confidence, but building unwavering belief in yourself. Louisa Jewell says, "I want you to go after everything you want because you want it. Stand up and go after what you want, to persevere in the face of set backs and criticism." Within her book she shows us that SELF EFFICACY gives you courage to act. Get ready to WIRE YOUR BRAIN FOR...
HOW SELF DOUBT RUINS OUR LIVES
Our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves and our abilities could be very different from the reality of the situation, regardless of feedback, evidence and experience. We could be crushing it and fully capable, but also thinking we are not good enough and help back by self-doubt.
Have you experienced a level of success and yet still go home questioning yourself and your decisions? Do you over think when things go wrong and focus on mistakes? Do you put huge effort into things you've done because your worried it will fail? Are you wondering why your thoughts are different from reality? THEN YOU MAY BE EXPERIENCING CHRONIC SELF-DOUBT!
The problem with self-doubters is that the image they have created in their own heads is far from what others see. Dreams remain just dreams out of self-doubt. Self-doubt creates repetitive negative thinking and second guessing. SELF-DOUBT HOLDS US BACK!!
WHAT CAUSES SELF-DOUBT?
Self-doubt is defined as "a general sense of feeling unsure about one's competencies, abilities and outcomes in daily life." HOW CAPABLE WE ARE- SELF-DOUBT QUESTIONS OUR ABILITIES.
Self-doubt is socially constructed, meaning that we highly value what others think about us.
Self-doubt gives you clues as to how much work you might need to complete a task. A little self-doubt is good to make us prepared.
Perfectionism plays a role in self-doubt.
COPING STRATEGIES CAUSED BY SELF-DOUBT
When we are experiencing self-doubt about our competence, we tend to get defensive to protect ourselves to preserve our self-worth.
1. Self handicapping- occurs when we deliberately undermine our performance. 2. Impostor phenomenon- High achievers don't attribute success to there own skills or competence. 3. Procrastination-allows us to delay a task when we know our performance will be judged or evaluated socially. 4. Other enhancement- since we don not have the advantage, others do. 5.Subjective overachievement- huge amounts of effort to absolutely guarantee success. 6. Defensive Pessimism- is a strategy people use to protect themselves against future failure. Set low expectations for themselves.
Can you see how self-doubt may interfere with your ability to pursue your goals and dreams?
TIPS: Next time you are anxious or fearful about outcome... Ask you self, So what if I fail? So what if they say no? What's the world that could happen?
SAY YES WHEN THE BRAIN SAYS NO: Engage in small yeses or opportunities to say yes. Build self confidence, self efficacy, and belief in self. Beliefs create self fulfilling prophecies.
BUILD SELF-EFFICACY: Sciences shows people with belief in their capabilities, act, thank and feel differently than those with low self-efficacy. People with high self-efficacy tend to; set higher level goals, put more effort into achieving goals, persevere in face of failure. THINK OF YOU AT YOUR BEST!
BUILD YOUR CONFIDENCE MUSCLE: To build self-efficacy and therefore courage to act. Exercise deliberate practice, know what conditions make you successful, reflect on things that go well, improve your competence, set mini learning goals, increase optimism about achieving goals.
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU FALL: Monitor your self talk and be realistic. Be constructively critical without beating yourself up. Understand the negativity bias. Allow imperfection. Take ownership of success. Be open to new outcomes. See opportunities. Separate fact from story.
EMBRACE FAILURE: Recognize that failure provide best learning experience. Don't allow your self-esteem to be contingent on success or failure. Practice self-compassion right away. Identify your resilience strengths and keep them top of mind.
SEEING IS BELIEVING: Find at least five role models and mentors who can help you take your skills and talents to higher levels. Don not compare yourself to others-LEARN. Create a mastermind group for encouragement. Picture bothe the process and outcome when visualizing. Use the miracle solution focused question. Fall asleep and miracle happened....
SURROUND YOURSELF WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE: Surround yourself with uplifting encouraging people. Hire a coach if you can't find encouraging people. Nurture a growth mindset, Be curious to learn and grow. Care less about what other people think about you, but be open to constructive feedback. Stop holding yourself to impppisbikle standard, replace "SHOULDS" with "WANTS"
USE YOUR BODY AND YOUR EMOTIONS AS POWER: Your body posture and bodily states have effect on your confidence. Create a positive body image by focusing on body functionality. Exercise. Manage your positivity ratio: ( ask yourself do I need to engage in this? )
Building your confidence muscles takes daily practice. Louisa Jewell takes us through a powerful formula to rewire our brain.
Building our confidence allow us to be better equipped to move towards our dreams and goals and discover what might be stopping ourselves.
We can leverage our four major sources of self efficacy:1. Performance Experiences- go out and try, practice and learn. 2. Vicarious Experiences- find role models who inspire and teach. 3. Social Persuasion- Surround yourself with supportive encouraging people. 4, Bodily and emotional state- build strength in your body and keep yourself in a positive mood.
Book Link: https://amzn.to/2T9Wvr7