THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values, and Spiritual Growth
Live Life Happy Unconventional Book Club with Andrea Seydel
Introduction:
The Road Less Traveled helps us explore the very nature of loving relationships and leads us toward a new serenity or peace as well as having a fullness in our lives.
Life is difficult and that journey to growth and self discovery can be painful, challenging and long.
In his book psychiatrist, Scott Peck teaches us how to distinguish dependency from love, how to become a more sensitive parent, and ultimately to become one's own true self.
THIS BOOK HELPS US MOVE TOWARD A HIGHER LIVEL OF SELF-UNDERSTANDING. Positive Psychology is the scientific study of human flourishing- this book has many actionable tools to help us thrive in our lives.
DICIPLINE:
PROBLEMS & PAIN: Life is difficult. This is a great truth. (One of the four noble truths that buddha teaches.) But we complain as if life should be easy. But life is actually a series of problems that we solve. DISCIPLINE is the basic set of tools we require in order to solve life's problems.
RESPONSIBILITY & PROBLEM SOLVING: It means experiencing the pain of life problems constructively and using the tools of discipline to do it. These tools are NOT complex but very effective and you must be willing to use these tools. Pain is confronted with these tools of discipline. CONFRONT PAIN NOT AVOID. CONFRONT DISCIPLINE NOT AVOID. You must be willing to use these tools that confront challenge and suffering head on! We must have an OPENNESS to CHALLENGE.
DISCIPLINE TOOLS: Use 1. Delaying of gratification, 2. acceptance of responsibility, and 3. dedication to truth and balancing.
DELAYING OF GRATIFICATION: Is a process of scheduling the pain and paler of life in such a way as to enhance the pleura by meeting and experiencing the pain foist and getting it over with. Eat your salad before you ice-cream cake. Walk the block, fold laundry before glass of wine. Best to schedule and order your time. Delayed gratification great tool to prevent procrastination and adding a feeling of being valuable. This delay of gratification is essential for what they call in psychology self-regulation.
DEDICATION TO TRUTH: Tool of discipline or technique of dealing with pain and problems solving is to stay dedicated to the truth. TRUTH IS REALITY!! The more clearly we can see our reality the better we can deal with our challenges. Our minds often get falsehood, misperceptions and illusion, which affect correct courses of action. LIES are statements we make that we know are false, or a statement we make we know is not in itself false but we leave out a significant part of the truth. In positive psychology this is called thinking traps, or narratives. How human beings create meaning from experiences.
ACCEPTANCE OF RESPONSIBILITY: We must accept responsibility for a problem before we can solve it. Otherwise we don't think there is a problem. We often go to a place to not accept responsibility for personal problems. Most psychological disorders stem from a disorder of responsibility. Cast away responsibility makes them people feel temporarily comfortable with the problem. FIRST step is to stop the sense of helplessness and take responsibility for your life and problems. Due to fear of ability to cope or change things. In psychology this accepting or not accepting responsibility is called "Locus of control".
LOVE:
LOVE DEFINED: Love is what lies in back of discipline. No true satisfactory definition of love. But for the purpose of this book it can be defined as- The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's owns or another growth. Includes love for self and others. Implies also an act or EFFORT. The WILL implies desire and action. LOVE IS AN ACT OF WILL!! More than just "falling in love" which implies start and end. There are no boundaries, no separations, and dependency to love. LOVE IS AN ACTION, AN ACTIVITY!
DEPENDENCY:
Dependency may appear to be love because it is a force that causes people to attach themselves to one another. But it is not love. It works like a trap and constricts rather than offer growth. Dependency fosters self-sacrifice and prevents personal growth. LOVE IS SELFISH AND UNSELFISH. WITH GENINE LOVE THE AIM IS SPIRITUAL GROWTH!
LOVE DISCIPLINED:
Genuine love is when we are concerned for someone's spiritual growth. Commitment is the cornerstone of healthy relationships since commitment is important for spiritual growth. Love is all about building the feeling of strength and security. An Example is an alcoholic man sitting in a bar professing his love for his wife and family. Love is not just feeling, but rather genuine love is commitment, It may be difficult and painful to search for evidence of love in one's actions, but easy to find evidence of love in one's feelings.
THE WORK OF ATTENTION: Love requires effort. It takes that extra step and extension of ourselves. When we love one another we attend to them. Attention is an act of will. 1. LISTENING- is love in action. 2. Extend oneself- move out from laziness into effort and courage. 3. Be willing to change and adapt. 3. Self- love requires independence and personal growth. you need to value yourself and be self involved. You are a beautiful and beloved individual. 4. Avoid confrontation, only work on yourself because you can't change others. 5. Nurture spiritual growth in others and in yourself.
GROWTH:
THE SCIENCE OF RELIGION/SPIRITUALITY: As humans we grow in discipline and with love, as well as life experiences and an understanding of the world. Religion or Spiritual is the understanding of this growth or combination of LOVE, DISCIPLINE and EXPERIENCES OF THE WORLD. Everyone has spirituality. One of the pathways to well-being in the Positive psychology PERMA model of well-being is ACHIEVEMENT & ACCOMPLISHMENT. Purpose, meaning and spirituality all contribute to this overall subjective well-being. Growth is essential to our happiness.
ACTION TIPS: 1. AVOID TUNNEL VISION: We must constantly revise and extend our understanding to include new knowledge of the larger world, exercise discipline and practice love. 2. ENLARGE OUR FRAME to avoid tunnel vision. 3. EXPAND KNOWLEDGE: Expand out realm of knowledge and our field of vision through new information. 4. CURIOSITY: Like science begin to question everything. 5. BELIEVE IN MIRACLES: Look for tiny miracles. Miracles in smaller frame of reference.
GRACE:
DEFINITION OF GRACE: The word associated with grace is amazing. Something amazes us when it is not in the ordinary course of things. When it is not predictable by what we know as a natural law. Events that are implausible that you know could not have occurred by accident. The fact that highly implausible events, for which no cause can be determined with the framework of known natural law, occur with frequency is synchronicity- GRACE! SIMPLY LIFE-ENHANCING or GROWTH PRODUCING.
CONSIDER: 1. THE MIRACLE OF HEALTH: 2. WELCOMING GRACE: 3. ACCPET SYNCHRONICITY 4. THE POWER OF YOUR UNCONSCIOUS MIND- Direct your mind.
Allow Grace to serve to nurture, support, protect and enhance your human life and spiritual growth. Even though incompletely understandable, frequent and influential. Believe in miracles.
Summary & Take Aways
The Road Less Traveled is about knowing there will be challenges in our lives and we must adopt Discipline or techniques in order to deal constructively with the pain of problem solving. Instead of just AVOIDING. LOVE IS AN ACT OF WILL!! and it lies on the back of Discipline. Genuine love is when we are concerned for someone's spiritual growth. As humans we grow in discipline and with love, as well as life experiences and an understanding of the world. THIS IS SPIRITUAL GROWTH- Learning, Loving, Discipline and Expanding views.
Allow Grace into your life GRACE! Since grace is SIMPLY LIFE-ENHANCING or GROWTH PRODUCING. A beautiful blend of LOVE, GRACE, DISCIPLINE, AND GROWTH leads to wholeness. There were a lot of nuggets of wisdom and tips for that can support our human flourishing.
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