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The Realities of Addiction and Why You Must Advocate For Yourself

The Realities of Addiction and Why You Must Advocate For Yourself

By Andrea Seydel, Author of Saving You Is Killing Me: Loving Someone with an Addiction

It is prevalent to misunderstand why or how other people become addicted to drugs or alcohol. It is common to think that those with addiction lack willpower or moral decision-making and that they could stop simply by choosing to stop. In reality, drug addiction is a very complex subject, and some would say a disease. Drugs and alcohol change the brain in ways that make quitting hard, even for those who want to. From the science, research, and professionals in their fields, the consensus is that some realities of addiction might offer you a degree of support when you love someone with an addiction. When you are armed with these realities, advocating for yourself, your healing and taking back your power becomes a priority.

According to many psychologists, counsellors and recovery groups, they suggest variations of the following realities of addiction:

• You did not cause the addiction: You are not at fault. As a parent or a significant other of someone who is addicted, it is widespread to think that you have done something to cause them to use drugs or abuse alcohol. Not to mention people who are addicted are very likely to blame others for their use, but it is merely an attempt to justify the addict’s actions. It is essential to recognize that it’s not about you.

• No one expects to become an addict: Although addictions start with a choice to use a drug or take a drink, many people who try a drug will not get hooked. There’s no easy way to understand what causes one person to become addicted compared to another. It’s essential to recognize that no one expects to become an addict.

• You cannot control their addiction: You can’t control an addict’s behaviour. Addiction is considered a disease that starts with a choice, and it heavily affects brain chemistry. You are not able to control your loved one who is struggling with addiction.

• You cannot cure their addiction: There is no simple cure for addiction. There is nothing you can do to save or fix the addicted person in your life. They have to want to seek help.

• You are powerless over their addiction: Powerlessness is often mistaken for weakness, but this is a vital step. We often believe that we should take control of our lives, fix problems, and overcome struggles, but admitting powerlessness involves leaning into surrendering the things we can’t control.

Why You Must Advocate for Yourself:

You got it in you! Self-advocacy means you know your rights and what you deserve. You know what is fair and you speak up for your rights, and you make choices and decisions that take care of you. Self-advocacy is a skill that you need when you love someone with an addiction. My Book, Podcast and Support Group Saving You Is Killing Me: Loving Someone with an Addiction will help you advocate for yourself effectively. It is hard, and you may feel broken, but you can and will bounce back from this struggle. It is essential to take back your power to build strength, hope, and happiness in your life. Discover how to tap into the transformative power of self-care, self-awareness, and self-worth so you can struggle well. Let’s be honest, addiction affects and changes everyone, and its damaging effects don’t have to destroy you.

Let’s struggle well together.

If someone you know is caught in the grip of addiction, you are no doubt living in your nightmare. But you can build your resiliency and shift your focus on advocating for yourself.

Food for thought:

Ask yourself: What are your rights? What do you deserve? What small step can you take to advocate for yourself and take back your power?

For further support: Do not hesitate to listen to the SYKM podcast or purchase the book

You can also reach out to Andrea Seydel herself at

Here is the SYKM Podcast link:

Please share with your community, support groups and anyone that needs this support!


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