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Girl, Stop Apologizing

Updated: Aug 11, 2020

GIRL, STOP APOLOGIZING: A Shame-Free Plan For Embracing and Achieving Your Goals

Andrea Seydel- Live Life Happy Bookclub, Podcast, Blog


“I believe we can change the world. But first, we’ve got to stop living in fear of being judged for who we are.” Rachel Hollis has seen it too often: women not living into their full potential. They feel a tugging on their hearts for something more, but they’re afraid of embarrassment, of falling short of perfection, of not being enough. In Girl, Stop Apologizing, Rachel Hollis sounds a wake-up call. She knows that many women have been taught to define themselves in light of other people—whether as wife, mother, daughter, or employee—instead of learning how to own who they are and what they want. With a challenge to women everywhere to stop talking themselves out of their dreams, Hollis identifies the excuses to let go of, the behaviors to adopt, and the skills to acquire on the path to growth, confidence, and believing in yourself.

Stop fearing your goals and start achieving them. Women around the world are overflowing with unfulfilled dreams. In this Snapshot, you’ll learn how to set aside your fears and start taking serious action toward the success you want in your life. Listen IF YOU: Doubt how valid or meaningful your goals are Feel stuck in your progress toward your goals Need a road map for how to achieve your dreams


Too many women apologize for who they are and what they want out of their lives.

Have you ever cut yourself asking what if I…? Well never working towards the end of the sentence. It's time to ask yourself how much of your life you've chosen for yourself, and how much of your life has been spent doing things that you were expected to do.

To get started you need to work on three areas of your mindset; excuses to let go of, behaviours to adopt, and skills to acquire.

Excuses to let go of

Route out the excuses and counterproductive believes that I've been holding you back.

Are you living a half full life? Do some people around you not appreciate, understand, or support the things that make you thrive? Are you downplaying your success by dressing, acting, or speaking of ways that other people expect you to because you want to be accepted? The first excuse calmly offered for not pursuing your goals is that you want to be a good woman or liked by others. Unfortunately this mindset allows others to determine your worth. You're entitled to be yourself.

Another popular excuse is that you're not goal oriented. It's more likely that you're not goal oriented yet. The third excuse for not working on your goals is that you don't have time. But you control your schedule and you should therefore evaluate how you're using your time. Another excuse for not pursuing your goals is that you're not good enough.

It also comes down to a fear of failure, first acknowledged the way that you have succeeded and achieved in your life. Then focus on the advantages of not knowing how to do things you want to do. Being a newbie makes you flexible and teachable.

Another excuse is that you can't pursue your goal and still be a good mom, wife, daughter, employee, girlfriend or whatever all it is you want to for sale for someone else. It's true if you're pursuing your own goals, you're going to have to make sacrifices in other areas of your life. But that doesn't mean you're not going to return them later.

Another excuse for not pursuing your goals is that you're terrified of failure. Failure is a part of life. Fail fail often and fail hard. If you're afraid of what others will think of your failure, imagine what they can learn by watching you fail and get back up again.

Another excuse is that your goal has been accomplished before. Or it's been done before but it hasn't been done by you instead of comparing your starting point to someone else's success, start seeing other people set size as a sign that you can do more.

Another excuse for not pursuing your goals is that you are afraid of other people judging you. In reality, judge mental people are going to judge you whether you perceive your goal or not. So you might as well start doing the things that fulfil you and make you happy. You can't be accountable to other people by fearing their judgement. Don't let other people talk you out of trying to reach your goals.

Behaviours to adopt

Changing your behaviour is the next step after letting go of excuses.

First stop asking for permission.

Try the 10, 10, 1 method. First write down everything you want out of your life in the next 10 years. Get specific about it. Think as big as you can. Next write down 10 dreams that would make that future a reality. Finally, choose one goal that will get you to your desire to sell the fastest and pursue it with everything you've got.

The next behaviour to adopt is to start asking for help.

The next behaviour is to set yourself up for success. To pursue your goals, your day today life needs to provide you with a solid foundation that lifts you up and gives you something to build upon. The best first step is to get yourself healthy, keep your personal space, build a community that supports you and develop good work habits.

Stop letting people talk you out of pursuing your goals. Insecure people will try to drag you down to feel better about their own insecurities. Dig in and stand tall and strong against pushback.

The final behaviour to adopt is to say no. Be polite and honest and be firm about your answer live in line with your priorities.

Skills to acquire

The next step towards meeting your goals is to develop some skills. Anything can be acquired through practice you don't need innate talent.

Develop a skill for planning. To achieve your goal, you're going to need a roadmap. Start with the finish line. Figure out where you're starting from. Notice what resources you lack. Brainstorm every single step on your way to your goal, write them down, and decide which steps are absolutely necessary.

Looking at your entire roadmap can be terrifying. Break your back into mile markers, or small quantifiable steps. Once you have your roadmap, go all in, take action immediately, and do not stay down when you fail.

Another skill to acquire is to back up your feelings with action. Choosing to act confidently, even when you're not inclined to. Surround yourself with confident people, as you'll undoubtedly mimic their behaviour.

Another skill to acquire is persistence. Make sure you have dates attached to your mile markers. Make sure you have some flexibility because you're going to fail along the way. Don't treat your goal as temporary let go of it at the first sign of failure. Pick yourself back up and start working again.

Another scale to acquire is effectiveness. TIP 1: Use our results list rather than a to do list. To do list we write down every thing we need to do in a day and check off. A results list, on the other hand, holds you accountable to the results you want to achieve by the end of the day. TIP 2: figure out the most efficient way to reach your mile markers. Adopt a productive mindset what ever aids and encourages your productivity. Avoid distractions.

Another skill to acquire is positivity. Make a conscious decision to find the positive.

Another skill to acquire is "lead-er-ship" there's no doubt that you've been a leader before. It's important for you to embrace your leadership, be an example to other women.


You were made to do more than you've been allowing yourself to be. It's time to change your mindset and start working towards the goals you've been putting off.

This book is all about getting rid of excuses and counterproductive believes that I've been holding us back. It's about starting to act on your goals and develop a goal oriented mindset. Then systematically work towards your goals by building your confidence, persistence, leadership, and planning skills.

Moving forward we can embrace the three aspects of change; excuses to let go of, behaviourist to adopt, and skills to acquire.

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